The Sketch Of My Biography




I was born in the Capital of a small Christian mountain country that in the
past was one of the Great Countries of Ancient Civilization. My mother tells
that when I was a little girl, I was an extremely strong, muscular and healthy
child. Really, till now I have not suffered from any disease, including common
cold, I have never felt fever or any other symptom of any infectious or not
infectious disease. So, there were no mumps, scarlet fever, angina, measles,
rubella, diarrhea, other pediatric diseases in my childhood. When I was 7
years old a lady who was a dance teacher (more precisely, ballet dancer and
teacher) came to our school for finding boys and girls suitable for
choreographic school. Seeing and touching my legs, she was astonished and said
that I was a dance nugget from physical point of view and I would be able to
become in the future very strong dancer, but at the same time she predicted a
great confusion if I chose ballet as my future occupation. She told me
something like the following: " My dear girl, if you begin to dance, your legs
will become more muscular, you will greatly surpass in the future all male
dancers in legs' muscularity and you will not be able to find any partner or
appropriate female role ... " I was very upset and sad hearing such verdict,
but soon I forgot that unpleasant situation. My mother also tried to limit my
physical activity because she noticed that I had too muscular and unusual for
that age strong legs and she was afraid that muscular mass might resist the
growing of my bones (and she was right). She even sent me to musical school
for studying piano playing ( she hoped that I would spent much time on
practicing piano playing and it would prevent my physical activity). But that
time I did not understand the sense of such limitation and I tried to escape
my mother's limitation as much as possible. I played with boys predominantly
and in all boyish games that needed strength I won even the boys that were
much older than I was. I was a friendly and non aggressive child, I did not
like fist fighting, but when anybody became unbearable and tried to attack or
hurt me, it was quite enough to kick the offender once or to hug and squeeze
him (I remember that one nasty boy who constantly teased me calling "muscular
machine" fell in syncope after transgressing my patience and having my foot
kick). My hug was so suffocating that my offender usually began to squeal,
weep and appeal to let him free. When I became 12 years old, I became shy and
modest girl, I stopped playing with boys and was spending my free time for
reading, cooking, embroidery, sewing, needle-working, learning house holding
and other kind of typically female activity. At that time I wore relatively
long skirts and avoided people because they invariably stared at my legs and
such behavior seemed me very offensive and hurt me very much. Because of my
legs I had lots of other problems as well , for instance, I could not wear
high boot, top boot, jackboot because my calves were huge and it was
impossible to place them into boots. But the most striking shock I experienced
when my mother brought high heel shoes for my school final evening party. On
high heel shoes my calves looked so unbelievably huge, big and provocative,
that crying I threw away the shoes and refused to take part in the party. I
had big trouble with my legs in University as well. All students, teachers,
professors called me "a girl with huge calves", "deadly calves", "big calves",
"super calves" ... and it complicated my life considerably. Even in student
parties my legs created a problem for me - during tango or other slow pair
dance my huge quads came into contact with the legs of my partner, preventing
me from dancing with the partner. When my future husband saw me first time
(actually he was startled seeing my calves), he was shocked and dropped his
bag. I was very upset because he caused sympathy in me and I was afraid that
my muscles would become an insurmountable obstacle for our intimacy. Later I
revealed, that hard muscles are a great advantage for a woman: my husband says
that it is the greatest happiness, pleasure, felicity and perfect bliss to be
in the arms of an extremely strong muscular woman and it is a great danger to
be "in the legs" of a woman with stone-crusher legs. Really, I surmise that
it may be very disenchanting and dispiriting for a man to hug a flabby flesh
and bones of a woman and not to feel her body and its response. May be this
circumstance explains why top models being so spectacular on the podium
sometimes are so disappointing in the bed. In general, slim and tall women are
the result of sexual hormones' deficit. On the other hands, as I said ,
muscular legs - lots of social problems. After University I have begun to
teach students in a College. The same problem. All students constantly
stealthily or openly fix their eyes on my legs and it embarrasses me and
hampers my teaching process.

My Personality

I was born in May and my Zodiac sign is Taurus. I am a quiet, kind,
soft-hearted and shy person. I suppose, that the great attention my legs have
attracted since my childhood, have influenced my character. When I was a
little girl, it was very unpleasant and disgusting for me to see that people
gazed at my legs and to feel that many of them were craving for touching my
muscles. If analyze my personality from the position of Sigmund Freud's
structural model of personality (he supposed that personality (mind) is like a
three-layer pie and consists of three components: Id, Ego and Super Ego), my
Super Ego ( moral conscience that proscribes, dictates what a person should
not do) is a little bit hyper developed. Moral internalized standards and
values limit my behavior more than I would like them to do. Excessively high
standards of behavior limit my freedom, desires, internal drives, etc. My
aggressiveness is quite moderate and I am an impunitive personality, i.e. I
prefer to find the cause of stress, frustration and unhappy events in
situation and circumstances (extrapunitive persons accuse other people,
intrapunitive persons accuse themselves in all miseries). I forgive people and
try not to take umbrage if they offence me (if they do not pass certain
reasonable limits, of course).

I do not accumulate anger in me, I am not rancorous. I am not emancipated, I
think that men and women should have and play different, but integrated roles
in society and family. I am against competition of men and women in all fields
and spheres of life (although my legs are much stronger than the legs of the
great majority of men). Mutual respect is the key factor of harmony and
consonant relationships between men and women.

My Philosophy

I consider personal happiness as priority. Love, warm family, good job,
interests and hobbies, financial security are prerequisites of happiness.
Health is not all things, but all things are nothing without health. Not
money, the love of money is the root of all evil. Ability to enjoy life (even
in small things) is one of essential components of happiness and I constantly
try to cultivate this ability in me (for example, having a cup of coffee in
company of loved person may be a great ritual and pleasure). I always
remember, that our creator decreed that the man is the head of the household,
at the same time I remember, that God took the woman from under Adam's arm,
not from his head so she could rule over him, nor from his foot so he might
trample her: he took her from his side, from a secure and protected position,
so husband and wife could walk down life's highway together, side by side.
Love, loyalty, forgiveness, friendship, tenderness, faith, trust, laughter,
etc. are well known components of the recipe that guarantees a happy marriage,
but I think that without deep, strong sexual attraction real happy marriage is
impossible. Your every cell, tissue, molecule should want, crave for the
person, chosen as "the one and only". Without sexual happiness and harmony
there is no real happiness.

My Religion

I am a Christian. My country is the first country that accepted Christianity
as the state religion (it happened 1700 years ago). There was Christianity
without inquisition in my country in medieval times. I am trying to follow all
commandments as close as possible, at the same time I realize that for the
last 2000 years no one of these 10 commandments has been completely followed
by people and there is no real hope that will be followed in the future. May
be the commandments are against human nature per se? Besides, some
commandments contain internal contradictions and discrepancies regarding long
term moral norms and values. The same is in the social and state moral and
written and unwritten laws. For example, double standards regarding killing.
If you kill many people during the war, you are a hero (the more you kill, the
better), but when you kill a man in ordinary situation, you are a murderer
(although, killing is killing independently of the situation).

My Interests

My interests are music and art (painting). When I was 8 years old my mother
sent me to musical school for studying classical piano playing (she wanted to
limit my physical activity and prevent my muscles overgrowing), but I did not
like musical school and especially my teacher. It was a drudgery to play
gammas and etudes, I did not like to read notes (hard job) and, besides, I did
not predict the reaction of my teacher to my prepared homework. She terrorized
and tantalized me with her concepts in regard to how to move and hold the
hands and fingers during playing piano pieces and etudes and she was
absolutely unpredictable regarding her assessment of my prepared homework.
When I became too fed up with her teaching, I categorically declared to my
parents that I made a final and irreversible decision to stop my piano
lessons. After that I was so disenchanted by my music lessons that till 14
years old I was absolutely "deaf" to music. Once, in the age of 14, I
contingently listened Ray Charles' song, where he brilliantly accompanied
himself on the piano. It was great and astonishing for me! It at one blow
removed all plugs from my ears and opened them for music. Till now I brightly
remember emotional impact, effect of that song. I was fascinated with the
sounds of his piano (later I knew that it was Rhodes Electro piano, not
ordinary piano). Being blind, Ray has very special keyboard touch. After that
I became a fan of Oscar Peterson, Errol Garner and Bill Evans. I began with
simple imitation of their pieces and gradually have been more and more
seriously involved in jazz and jazz playing. Now I play jazz on the piano and
it is a great pleasure and fun for me.

My second hobby is painting. I like abstract painting. I usually experiment
with colors and silhouettes.

My Favorite Food

I have no favorite food, I prefer little amount of tasty delicious foods and
delicacies and fruit. I am a little bit epicure regarding food. Food should
provide not only nutrition, but also pleasure and opportunity to explore the
world of exquisite smell and taste. Baby begins exploration of the world with
nose and mouth and this exploration should be life long. I think that FDA's
food pyramid is disorienting and inflexible because different people need
different food compositions. Special diets are indicated for certain diseases
only, so, for example, protein diet with limitation of carbohydrates may be
helpful for controlling of appropriate diseases, but not for healthy people.
Cholesterol-free movement also exaggerates the danger of cholesterol.
Cholesterol is quite essential thing, it is the basic material for many
hormones and is an essential part of cellular membranes (besides, there are
good (HDL) and bad (LDL) cholesterol and interestingly enough low level of HDL
is more dangerous than high level of LDL). For some time I kept protein-free
diet hoping to decrease my leg muscles, but then I understood that it was
goofy - my muscles obviously were under genetic control and did not responded
to the diet and the latter might become the shortcut to gaining immune deficit
or another pathological condition. My main motto is: limit amount, not variety
of food!

My Favorite Colors

I like warm colors (as well as "warm" people) in combination, for example,
different proportions of yellow + red as you can see in different shades of
claret-colored and red-garnet autumn leaves. I like some shades of "coffee
with milk". In general, I like nature and the colors of Autumn. I like blue
sky and different colors of the sun: from gold to orange. I do not like some
shades of grey and blue. In general, the shade is more important for me, than
the pure color. Color is quite important thing in my life and it affects my
mood. It is not abnormal, because as much as I know, in color therapy
different colors are thought to affect mood and monocolor therapy has been
used to address specific health problems, for example, blue is believed to be
sedating, and red, excitatory. Even more. A Swiss psychologist, Max Lusher,
devised a color test in which a subject's mood at a particular time is
determined by exposing the subject to various colors. Lusher also experimented
with the effects of colors on the autonomic nervous system and found that pure
red is sympathomimetic and can cause an increase in blood pressure, heart rate
and respiration, blue is parasympathomimetic and produces opposite effects.

Stats

Height 155 cm

Weight 58 kg

Hair Deep blonde

Eyes Green

Quads 63 cm

Calves 43.5 cm

My Muscles' features

My quads and calves are extremely hard and dense even when they are maximally
relaxed. Long term immobilization does not decrease their size, hardness,
strength and power. Massage does not soften my muscles; they are adamant and
stony even after sleep, in the morning.

My body parts that I like and dislike

All my adult life I was fighting against extreme muscularity of my legs,
especially my calves. I tried to immobilize my legs, I tried not to walk, not
to stand, not to move the legs, not contract the muscles. I tried not to eat
proteins, I tried to fast ... without effect.

My calves have always attracted the attention of people making me feel
uncomfortable.

My calves deprive me of the pleasure to wear high heel shoes, their friction
to each other disturb me during not only walking, but also during sleeping.

My achievents

When I was 20 years old, my height was 155 cm, my quads were 72 cm (imagine
how they looked for such height) and calves were 47.5 cm. Now, thanks to my
consecutive and constant efforts for very very long time regarding "melting"
such huge muscles, my quads are 63 and calves are 43.5! Well done!

Competition history

I have never taken part in any competition and I am not going to participate
in any contest in the future. Browsing the Internet I have revealed that
majority of female body builders have very poor developed calves. I suppose
that there is no a female body builder (represented in Internet) whose calves
may compete with mine.

Work out

I have never trained my muscles , on the contrary, I have always been trying
to decrease their size, density and power ( the only exception - for a not
long time I trained them in gym club, but they began to grow so rapidly and as
soon as I noticed that, I immediately stopped the training).